Keep this in mind: Your child must learn that homework is not a battleground. There can be no power struggles over homework. All assignments must be completed. Your child must get the message that conflict on this issue will not be tolerated.
Does your child openly refuse to do homework or lie to you or to the teacher about why assignments are not done? When your child would rather battle with you every night rather than do homework, it is time to set firm limits. To solve this problem you must make it clear to your child that by choosing not to do homework, he or she is also choosing not to enjoy certain privileges.
- State clearly exactly how you expect homework to be completed.
Tell your child, “I expect you to do all of your homework every night. Under no circumstances will I tolerate your refusing to do your homework assignments.”
- Back up your words with actions.
When your child is engaged in a power struggle with you and refuses to do homework, you must make it clear that this or her behavior will result in a loss of privileges. Teel your child, “You can choose either to do your homework or to lose privileges. If you choose not to do your homework, then you choose not to watch television or listen to music or use the telephone until the homework is finished. You will sit here until all of your homework is done. The choice is yours.” Then you must stick to your words. It may take your child several days of sitting idly in his or her study area to realize that you mean business and that you won’t back down.
- Praise your child when homework is done.
Praise your child each time he or she does homework. “I really like the way you’ve been getting your homework done. That’s what I expect from you.”
- Use a Homework Contract to provide additional incentive.
A Homework Contract is an effective way to motivate children of any age. It is an especially valuable tool because it encourages a child to accept responsibility for an agreement made between the child and parent. A Homework Contract is an agreement between you and your child that states: “When you do homework, you will earn a reward.” For example, “Each day that you bring home your homework and complete it during Daily Homework Time, you will earn one point. When you have earned ten points, you may earn a special privilege.”
- If all else fails, contact the teacher.
If problems persist, contact the teacher and arrange for additional disciplinary consequences (staying in at lunch break or completing homework in after school detention) to be provided at school when homework assignments are not completed.
From “Teaching Responsible Homework Habits” by Lee Canter & Associates
